The Definitive 2008-2009 Power Rankings - Version 3.1

With the invitational season finally coming to a close, it’s time to give the people what they’ve been begging for. For months they’ve relied on the uncomfortably subjective and sporadically insightful musings of AndrewLias and his preciously adorable power poll. But now that The AMTA’s invitational season is over, it’s time for the amateur sidewalk performers and trick-shot artists to step aside. Not unlike a polar bear (not to be confused with Ohio Northern’s Polar Bear Invite), I am back from my winter-long slumber and I’m better than ever.

Now I’m usually the type ignore the critics and let bygones be bygones. However, the amount of Prog defectors that have reared their heads these past few months is getting ridiculous. These fair-weather fans who have embraced the new kid on the block should be ashamed. Don’t get me wrong – I respect Lias for stepping up during my sabbatical. I’m sure this experience will help him next month when he’s back to dropping off my dry cleaning and parking my car. It’s these mindless numbskulls who are shilling over the power poll, claiming that I have been replaced, who need to have a simple concept explained to them.

Need I remind you that what I serve up are RANKINGS. I do not offer a POLL. With a poll, some jackass can forget to rank NYU in their Top 25, thus causing NYU to be ranked #2 when they would have been ranked #1 had that person ranked NYU #23 or above. You call that scientific? You call that accurate? I call that a joke.

But like I said, I’m not hating on Lias. In fact, I’ve found the polls to be entertaining at times. To show that there’s no hard feelings, I’m offering Lias a suggestion free of charge: if you want to avoid another abomination like what happened to NYU in the most recent poll, you should consider dropping the highest and lowest ranking for each team. That way, you eliminate the influence these idiotic “outliers” can have on the results. I hope that this helps a brother out. You’re welcome in advance.

So without further ado, here’s what you’ve all been begging for: mock trial analysis without that pesky lag-time that Lias is always mumbling about.

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INVITATIONAL AWARDS:

Now that the exhibition season is over, it's time to give it its proper send-off. And what better way to do that than to give out a little hardware.

BEST TEAM PERFORMANCE:

UCLA – While short on the top prizes, this team is benefitting from the ultimate recency effect, winning the best invitational tournament of the season, the Demon Deacon Invitational Tournament, in dominating fashion. In 2009, UCLA A is 21-1-2, with marquee double ballot victories against NYU, Virginia, Furman, and Richmond. In total, along with the first place finish, UCLA finished 4th at the second-best tournament, GAMTI; third overall in the Beach Party experiment; second, third and seventh at their own tournament; and second, third, fourth, and eleventh at Loras. This is the classic quality over quantity argument, and quality wins out.

Runner-Up: Northwestern – This would have been the runaway winner had it won a top tournament with a marquee victory. Northwestern won the Loras, Lewis, and Pohlmann tournaments, along with strong finishes at CUBAIT, UCLA, Macalester, and Illinois State.

BIGGEST MARQUEE VICTORY:

HARVARD (v. NYU) – The Fightin’ Crimson put together a stacked team for one, and only one, tournament. During that one celebrity appearance of the invitational season, the Snidow-led tour de force ran wild over the rest of the competition, including a devastating 14-point beat-down against the presumptive favorites, NYU. Scoreboard: Snidow 1, Bryant 0.

Runner-Up: UCLA (v. NYU) – This one was much closer, but this opening round match up catapulted the Bruins to their recent winning streak.

BEST INDIVIDUAL PERFORMER:

CO’RELOUS BRYANT, NYU – Yeah, yeah, we all know that Bryant is good and wins an award at (nearly) every tournament. What I really want to do in this space is talk about my displeasure at how this category wasn’t closer because my boy, J.J. Snidow, decided to forego individual accolades in order to teach poor Korean students how to do mock trial overseas. Had he stayed domestic, we may have another name atop this category. And you’ve all been warned: when The AMTA decides to go international, watch out for Seoul National University.

Runner-Up: Jonathan Hartsfield, Northwood – Yeah, yeah, we all know that Hartsfield is good and wins an award at every tournament. What I really want to do in this space is talk about the 2008-2009 Motor Trend Van of the Year, Drake’s own Van Everett. In fact, the Prog’s dream vacation includes jamming out to some Van Halen, watching the double feature of Van Wilder and Van Helsing, laughing out loud to The Dick Van Dyke Show, throwing down against Jean-Claude Van Damn, while making time to watch Van Everett deliver a closing.

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THE FAB FIFTY

Finally, the top 50 is starting to get some clarity. Some teams that presented an illusion of strength have been made out to be frauds, schools that didn't stack until more recently are letting us know who they really are, while other teams that surprised in the fall have maintained their solid performances. So you'll see quite a bit of change in these rankings.

What has not changed is our top team in the rankings. Until the champions have been dethroned, they will continue to hold that top spot. Only when Harvard's stacked A team loses will they fall below teams that have done more than the Crimson to "warrant" a high ranking.

1. Harvard (Last Week: 1)
2. UCLA (LW: 8)
3. NYU (LW: 2)
4. Bellarmine (LW: 3)
5. Virginia (LW: 5)
6. Miami (LW: 6)
7. George Washington (LW: 4)
8. Yale (LW: 20)
9. Iowa (LW: 7)
10. Columbia (LW: 22)
11. Pittsburgh (LW: 11)
12. Northwestern (LW: 14)
13. Furman (LW: 18)
14. Washington-St. Louis (LW: 10)
15. Duke (LW: 19)
16. Cornell (LW: 16)
17. Texas (LW: 17)
18. Richmond (LW: 12)
19. Michigan (LW: 15)
20. Georgetown (LW: 13)
21. UC-Berkeley (LW: 9)
22. Penn State (LW: 37)
23. Northwood (LW: 24)
24. Chicago (LW: 28)
25. Drake (LW: 21)
26. Loyola-Chicago (LW: 27)
27. UC-Irvine (LW: 23)
28. Missouri-Kansas City (LW: 32)
29. Notre Dame (LW: 25)
30. Eastern Kentucky (LW: 42)
31. Stanford (LW: 40)
32. Georgia (LW: 39)
33. Middle Tennessee State (LW: 30)
34. Washington & Lee (LW: 29)
35. Hamline (LW: 53)
36. Rhodes (LW: 52)
37. Bowling Green (LW: 33)
38. Brandeis (LW: 46)
39. Maryland (LW: 35)
40. Tennessee (LW: 36)
41. Arizona State (LW: 31)
42. Eastern Michigan (LW: 50)
43. Penn (LW: Not Ranked)
44. Ohio State (LW: 56)
45. Princeton (LW: 43)
46. Emory (LW: 47)
47. Arizona (LW: Not Ranked)
48. Southern California (LW: 34)
49. Claremont McKenna (LW: Not Ranked)
50. Morehouse (LW: 45)

THE NEXT TEN

Syracuse
Wisconsin-Madison
Macalester
Boston
Cincinnati
Minnesota-Morris
Southern Methodist
Brown
Alabama-Birmingham
Air Force

ON THE RADAR: Central Florida, Cornell College, DePaul, Iona, Georgia Tech


Greatest Gains:
1. Pennsylvania - 23 spots
2. Arizona - 19 spots
3. Hamline - 18 spots
4. Claremont McKenna - 17 spots
5. Rhodes - 16 spots
6. Penn State - 15 spots
7. Wisconsin-Madison - 14 spots
8. (tie) Columbia - 12 spots
8. (tie) Eastern Kentucky - 12 spots
8. (tie) Ohio State - 12 spots
8. (tie) Yale - 12 spots

Biggest Drops:
1. Brown - 32 spots
2. Georgia Tech - 23 spots
3. Central Florida - 17 spots
4. (tie) Cincinatti - 14 spots
4. (tie) Southern California - 14 spots
6. UC-Berkeley - 12 spots
7. Arizona State - 10 spots
8. Alabama-Birmingham - 8 spots
9. Georgetown - 7 spots
10. Richmond - 6 spots

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In making these rankings, I found a clear delineation among some groups of teams. So to help put my rankings in perspective, here is the hierarchy among the teams in the rankings.

TIER I: Harvard, UCLA, NYU, Bellarmine
TIER II: Virginia, Miami, George Washington
TIER III: Yale, Iowa, Columbia
TIER IV: Pittsburgh, Northwestern, Furman, Washington-St. Louis
TIER V: Duke, Cornell, Texas, Richmond, Georgetown, UC-Berkeley, Penn State
TIER VI: Northwood, Chicago, Drake, Loyola-Chicago, UC-Irvine
TIER VII: Missouri-Kansas City, Notre Dame, Eastern Kentucky, Stanford, Georgia, Middle Tennessee State, Washington & Lee, Hamline, Rhodes
TIER VIII: Does it really matter??

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PROGNOSTICATOR'S REGIONALS PREDICTIONS ™

These are the 192 teams that will compete in the all-new Opening Round Championship Sites. Now don’t try to match these teams up to each regional cause it doesn’t work quite so simply. But when all is finally said and done, this is how it will look like:

Amherst, Air Force, Air Force, Alabama-Birmingham, Arizona, Arizona, Arizona State, Arizona State, Bellarmine, Bellarmine, Boston College, Boston University, Boston University, Bowling Green, Brandeis, Brandeis, Brown, Brown, Cal Poly Pomona, Carleton, Carnegie Mellon, Case Western, Case Western, Central Florida, Central Florida, Central Missouri, Charleston, Chicago, Chicago, Cincinnati, Claremont McKenna, Claremont McKenna, Clark, Colorado, Columbia, Columbia, Cornell, Cornell, Cornell College, Dartmouth, Dartmouth, Delaware, DePaul, DePaul, Dickinson, Drake, Drake, Duke, Duke, Eastern Kentucky, Eastern Kentucky, Eastern Michigan, Emory, Florida A&M, Fordham-Rose Hill, Fresno State, Furman, Furman, George Washington, Georgetown, Georgetown, Georgia, Georgia, Georgia State, Georgia Tech, Gonzaga, Gonzaga, Grinnell, Hamilton, Hamline, Hamline, Harvard, Harvard, Holy Cross, Houston Baptist, Howard, Illinois, Illinois, Illinois State, Illinois-Chicago, Iona, Iowa, Iowa, Johns Hopkins, Kansas, Kennesaw State, Kenyon, Lafayette, Lewis, Loras, Loras, Loyola-Chicago, Loyola-Chicago, Macalester, Macalester, Marquette, Maryland, Maryland, Miami, Miami, Michigan, Michigan, Michigan State, Middle Tennessee State, Middle Tennessee State, Minnesota, Minnesota-Morris, Mississippi, Mississippi, Missouri, Missouri-Kansas City, Missouri-Kansas City, Morehouse, Nebraska, New Hampshire, North Carolina, North Carolina, Northwestern, Northwestern, Northwood, Notre Dame, Notre Dame, NYU, NYU, Ohio Northern, Ohio State, Ohio State, Patrick Henry, Penn State, Penn State, Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Princeton, Princeton, Redlands, Reed, Rhodes, Rhodes, Rice, Richmond, Richmond, Rochester, Rutgers, Southern California, Southern California, Southern Methodist, Southern Methodist, St. Francis, St. John’s, St. Louis, Stanford, Stanford, SUNY-Buffalo, Syracuse, Syracuse, Temple, Tennessee, Tennessee, Texas, Texas, Toledo, Tufts, UC-Berkeley, UC-Berkeley, UC-Irvine, UC-Irvine, UCLA, UCLA, UC-San Diego, UC-Santa Barbara, Vanderbilt, Vanderbilt, Villanova, Villanova, Virginia, Virginia, Wake Forest, Washburn, Washington & Lee, Washington & Lee, Washington State, Washington-St. Louis, Washington-St. Louis, Wellesley, Wisconsin-Madison, Wisconsin-Superior, Yale, Yale

TOURNAMENT WINNERS: Harvard (Boston), Duke (Chapel Hill), Iowa (Davenport), UCLA (Fresno), George Washington (New Haven), UC-Berkeley (Portland), Cornell (Syracuse), Virginia (Washington, D.C.), Georgetown (Baltimore), Brandeis (Bristol), Texas (Houston), Michigan (Joliet), Bellarmine (Louisville), Furman (Orlando), UCLA (Rancho Cucamonga), Hamline (Superior), Missouri-Kansas City (Topeka), Georgia (Birmingham), Pittsburgh (Cincinnati), Washington-St. Louis (Columbia), NYU (Jamaica), Northwestern (Milwaukee), Eastern Michigan (South Bend)

TOP SLEEPERS: New Hampshire (Boston), Bob Jones (Chapel Hill), Cornell College (Davenport), UC-Santa Barbara (Fresno), Iona (New Haven), Reed (Portland), Hamilton (Syracuse), Lafayette (Washington, D.C.), Johns Hopkins (Baltimore), Boston College (Bristol), Houston Baptist (Houston), St. Francis (Joliet), Patrick Henry (Louisville), Florida (Orlando), UC-San Diego (Rancho Cucamonga), Minnesota-Duluth (Superior), Nebraska (Topeka), Georgia State (Birmingham), Toledo (Cincinnati), Central Missouri (Columbia), Rutgers (Jamaica), DePaul (Milwaukee), Case Western (South Bend)

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TOP ATTORNEY/WITNESS COMBINATIONS

Since I got some slack for not including any witnesses in these fun little lists, here are the top attorney/witness duos in the country.

1. J.J. Snidow/Guy Eduoard, Harvard
2. Co’Relous Bryant/Michael Griffin, NYU
3. Buchanan Vines/Jocelyn Levenberg, Columbia
4. Jonathan Hartsfield/Lou Danner, Northwood
5. Ravi Narayan/Travis Wilkening, Iowa
6. Alex Bowerman/Anatoly Rozental, Cornell
7. Paul Wiley/Rohan Sebastian, Virginia
8. Patrick Moroney/Stanley Steers, Pittsburgh
9. Stephen Mayer/Peter Fuller, UCLA
10. Katy Groover/Bill Cable, Richmond

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I had to lay off the few interns that have yet to sue me for sexual harassment, and with the economy coming to a screeching halt, I could not afford to hire a new slew of gophers. But let me be clear, I will not cave in to the demands of those that have done nothing to add to the stream of information that is necessary to put this column together. I don’t know what measures I will take to ensure this, but mark my words, strict measures will be implemented.

You are all on notice.